Gone
by CosmicBeauty93
Summary: SPOILER! After leaving Adamant Fortress Varric is faced with writing letters to Hawke's family and friends; telling them the grave news that Hawke was left in the Fade and there was little to no chance of her survival. Fenris and Carver are the first to receive a letter (this is my imagination's take on what Fenris would do when he received the letter). Fenris/Female Hawke Romance.


It had been months since Fenris had seen Hawke. Being a talented, graceful, rogue; Hawke could rob you blind without breaking eye contact. She vanished in the middle of the night after planting a goodbye note in Fenris' pocket;

My Dearest Fenris,

You left me once and now I know how hard it must have been. You told me that nothing could keep me from you, but what if it's me standing in your way? I cannot let you sacrifice yourself in order to save me. I just will not allow it. I'm sorry, Fenris. Please know that I love you, always.

Sasha Hawke

Fenris remembered how hard it was to leave Hawke and knew the pain that she now suffered. He kept the letter close, in a pocket next to his heart. For now, he would respect her wishes. At least until she came home. The past few months had been extremely relaxing for Fenris; slavers were always trying to gain a foothold in Kirkwall and he was all too happy to let them try. No Tevinter slaver would take Kirkwall from his grasp; not that many were brave enough to try. Almost every slave in Tevinter were telling tales of Fenris. Stories about how he bravely fought alongside the Champion of Kirkwall and gained his freedom from a evil Magister.

Quickly, Fenris made his way through the Gallows. His blade of mercy was awkwardly hanging from his belt, almost dragging across the ground.

"Fenris!" Carver called.

Fenris jumped at the unexpected call and turned to find Carver running up to him.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, I need to thank you," Carver caught up to Fenris, trying to catch his breath he placed his hand on Fenris' shoulder.

"There's no need. I don't want Hawke returning to a city infested by slavers." Fenris shook off his hand.

Carver grinned suddenly at the mention of Hawke, "Have you heard news? Is there reason to believe she's coming back?"

Fenris hung his head, staring at the ground, "No."

The smile on Carver's face vanished, "Why wouldn't she tell us what she was doing? This makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense, Carver." Fenris paused, "Something happened."

Carver's eyes widened, "What?! Like she died?! No! She didn't, don't talk like that!"

"No, not that she died, you idiot. You're missing the bigger picture. Something is clearly happening. Have you not seen the fade rifts? It's magic. Someone must be behind it, right? She must know who is behind it. She wouldn't be Hawke if she wasn't right in the middle of it."

"I heard there is a big hole in the sky that looks similar to these fade rifts." Carver continued.

Fenris turned to leave but Carver followed, "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your help. If you hadn't of came along when you did I would have been in trouble."

"No need to thank me. You're Hawkes' little brother, if anything happened to you, I don't think she would be able to handle it." Fenris looked over at Carver with a serious expression, "Even if you couldn't care less about her."

Carver stopped dead in his tracks and watched Fenris as he left the Gallows. Carver was taken aback, he loved his sister; he just hated being compared to her. Secretly, when Varric first called Carver "little Hawke", he loved it. To him, it meant that he was living up to his sister's name. Maybe one day, he'll be as loved and admired as she is.

"Ser Carver Hawke?"

"Yes?" Carver turned at the sound of his name.

A young elven woman smiled up at him and handed him a letter, "This just came for you. It's from Master Tethras."

"Oh, thank you!" Carver smiled back at the woman and took the letter, "Here." After handing her a small coin purse, Carver hustled back to the Templar barracks. His heart was racing, as he contemplated what news lay within.

* * *

Fenris sat with his back against the wall, he could feel his pulse quickening as he read Varric's letter;

Fenris,

I'm sorry she left without telling you anything. Hawke came to Skyhold to help the Inquisitor deal with the Wardens. They were summoning demons and enslaving the mages to Corypheus. Yeah, he's not dead, I don't know how that happened. We ended up trapped in the Fade and she sacrificed herself so we could all escape; if she had known, she would never have left things like that. I'm so sorry but she's gone.

Take care,

Varric Tethras

The last two words on the page had Fenris shaking.

"She's gone?" he asked the empty room. He could feel himself slipping, drowning in a sorrow that he could only associate with death.

"Damn it, Hawke!" he screamed, crumpling the letter and throwing it across the room, "It should have been us, together!"

Tears beginning to sting his eyes, why her? He thought. Fenris grabbed his Blade of Mercy from his belt and slammed it into everything in sight. Destroying their room, with the blade she gave him. Chunks of wood, metal, and cloth surrounded the air around him as he swung his blade in every direction. He was filled with anger, at the thought of Hawke sacrificing herself; and filled with sorrow, at the thought of her being left alone to die. He should have been there to protect her.

Never again will he feel her touch or see her gentle, pale blue, eyes looking directly into his soul. Quickly, Fenris shook the thought from his mind. No, he thought, I will find a way to bring her back or I will die trying. I will give nothing less than what she gave to me. Fenris slung his sword over his shoulder and headed for the door.

"Fenris?" Carver, Hawke's younger brother, called as he entered Hawke's estate.

Fenris pushed Carver out of the way as he headed out the door, "I don't want to hear it, Little Hawke."

"I got a letter from Varric," Fenris stopped walking and turned to Carver, "Please tell me it's a cruel joke, Fenris." Carver's eyes were blood red and a worried expression graced his features. Fenris widened his eyes at the resemblance, he could almost see Hawke staring at him with the same expression.

"It's no joke." Fenris turned to leave, "I will find a way to get her back. I will not fail her."

Carver thought for a second, "Can I come with you? My sister was always a huge pain in my ass, but if there is a single chance that I can save her, I want to take it."

Fenris rolled his eyes and walked away, "Do as you wish."

With that, Fenris and Carver left Kirkwall. Nothing would stop them from getting Hawke back. First stop, Inquisitor Lavellan.


End file.
